Die wedding goers, die!

I serve cake at weddings for my job. My work is the epitome of Provo. I used to love it, but in time it has convinced me that everyone is very unoriginal. I started making a list in my mind tonight of all the things that annoy me, which 99% of all people I help manage to do in the thirty seconds I am in their life.

-Try to serve themselves and make a royal mess. Why do you think I’m behind the table holding servers grandma?

-“I’ll just have a slice of everything.” haha. good one.

-“None of these cakes have calories, right?”

-“I’ll have some of that one!”—as they point to the 3 tier wedding cake across the room.

-“Oh I shouldn’t! I’m watching my weight!” and then getting like 4 pieces.

-Put their plate right in my face or really far away so I have to bend in an incredibly awkward way in order to serve them.

- Asking for two pieces, sometimes three. And force me to fit them on the same tiny plate.

-Steal the garnishes off the cake. You are over 8 years old. It’s not cute or funny when you pop a cherry in your mouth and expect me to laugh and forgive you.

-Fail to get a plate, and make me walk all the back to the beginning of the table, when I am helping 5 or 10 other people, and get it for them.

-Taking 100 million years to pick a cake and holding up the line.

-Making me say the name of EVERY SINGLE CAKE, sometimes twice.

-Asking me what’s the best one. They never take my advice anyway, dummies.

- Asking me which one is flour free, doesn’t have peanuts, the least calories, etc.

-Wanting it to-go; making me run upstiars to get a to-go box.

And most horrying and horrible:

Flirting with me.