Thursday, March 19, 2009

Die wedding goers, die!

I serve cake at weddings for my job. My work is the epitome of Provo. I used to love it, but in time it has convinced me that everyone is very unoriginal. I started making a list in my mind tonight of all the things that annoy me, which 99% of all people I help manage to do in the thirty seconds I am in their life.

-Try to serve themselves and make a royal mess. Why do you think I’m behind the table holding servers grandma?

-“I’ll just have a slice of everything.” haha. good one.

-“None of these cakes have calories, right?”

-“I’ll have some of that one!”—as they point to the 3 tier wedding cake across the room.

-“Oh I shouldn’t! I’m watching my weight!” and then getting like 4 pieces.

-Put their plate right in my face or really far away so I have to bend in an incredibly awkward way in order to serve them.

- Asking for two pieces, sometimes three. And force me to fit them on the same tiny plate.

-Steal the garnishes off the cake. You are over 8 years old. It’s not cute or funny when you pop a cherry in your mouth and expect me to laugh and forgive you.

-Fail to get a plate, and make me walk all the back to the beginning of the table, when I am helping 5 or 10 other people, and get it for them.

-Taking 100 million years to pick a cake and holding up the line.

-Making me say the name of EVERY SINGLE CAKE, sometimes twice.

-Asking me what’s the best one. They never take my advice anyway, dummies.

- Asking me which one is flour free, doesn’t have peanuts, the least calories, etc.

-Wanting it to-go; making me run upstiars to get a to-go box.

And most horrying and horrible:

Flirting with me.


Chelsea Michelle said...

K, that was PERFECT. love you.

Rachel said...

kristi, this made me miss making fun of stupid people with you...who honestly asks if cakes have no calories? it's called BUTTERcream's gonna be fattening.