Monday, July 14, 2008

Why my life is now in shambles.

A couple weeks ago Matt (ahem...elder titensor) wrote these words in a letter:
"I am not telling you this, but every Sunday night the guys in my district sit on the benches out in front of the MTC and watch the sunset. If you happened to drive by we're there from 8-9...cough."
You have got to be kidding me. So, tonight the best friend Wesley and I set out on our borderline rule-breaking adventure. His mom shook her head in disapproval as we drove away from his house. ha. oh well. After one unsuccessful drive by, on the way back we caught a red light, and as both of us searched the line of suits, suddenly there he WAS! Holding his arms in the air with a big grin on his face. Y'know those moments when you can stop and say "Wow, I actually just physically felt my emotions change." My heart fell out of my chest onto the dashboard. And then Wes and I screamed like little girls and waved and had tiny emotional breakdowns there in my mini. It made my entire year.
I got home and wrote him an extra good letter, since my love for him increased a thousand million percent, if that is possible..?
OH WAIT. Since then I have found out that four other girls I know also saw him tonight, and got to talk to him (and for the record I would empty my bank account to hear his voice. Ridiculously unfair is an understatement) and took pictures with him AND Sammy. I don't even know how to feel now. I desperately wish I would have talked to him, but simultaneously have a firm belief that I would just want to hug him to death and then somehow the words "come home with me" would escape my lips. And that would probably be awkward when he refused. Then, post reunion I would go through suckfest like I did at the end of May, which my heart has informed me it simply cannot survive again. Yes, I'm dramatic. But I've made my decision. Well, it was made for me, but I'm rationalizing to feel better. He's probably having a rough enough time tonight, thinking about home. But sheesh. It's more than a little overwhelming how much I miss that boy.


Andrea Elizabeth said...

KRISTI!! I feel your pain. Austin has only been gone a week and a half and I feel like I'm dying. I'm jealous of your distant rendevous.

Good luck, friend.

JULIE said...

there is no one who should have a blog more than you should have a blog. i read the comment about The Enemy and laughed so hard i basically peed my pants a lot and missed you a lot. you can make it! i promise! i've made it sixteen months/twelve months and i'm way more unstable and psycho than you. just three more things:

1. Don't EVER watch the notebook. no matter how much you think it's ok to. because you WILL emotionally break down, no matter how long he has been gone. i still can't watch it.

2. be my friend. hang out with me.

3. your "about me" is so so so so funny and i love you.

JULIE said...

one more thing. i definitely just considered changing the name of my blog to "mrs. talks fast" in honor of your superiorly witty Man Friend. hahahaha. i love you.