My Suckfest

Compliments of Josh and Julie...

1. I've signed up for numerous online accounts...all requiring different user names and passwords...and now I can't remember 97.4% of them and so they're useless.
2. I've dated two wardies. two. Going to church in Orem=awkward.
3. One of the first things I did after getting home from a third world country was go buy a new dress. sigh.
4. I'm a lazy lazy driver. I do almost anything to avoid putting the clutch in or braking. Which involves going 15 when I know a red light is within a mile.
5. I have not been on a regular exercise routine for, eh, a year and a half. or more.
6.I've never spoken to many of my cousins.
7. I get explosively angry at strangers sometimes.
8. I can't read anything past 3 P.M. without falling asleep.
9. I never wear sunscreen. I always regret it.
10. I eat super fast. It makes dates awkward; and I'm always bored when everyone else still has something to do at dinner...
11. My hand freckle is growing. I swear it! CANCER!
12. I am so impatient that cooking a burrito in the microwave for thirty seconds feels like for-ev-er. And I will spontaneously combust without a pen to doodle with in 3 hour church.
13. I used to not like diet coke. I tried it once-- still didn't like it. I tried it again-- kind of liked it. The process continued. Now I'm addicted.
14. I don't know how to date someone older than me.

15. Around 11:30 every night my legs get so achey I have to move them, shake them, rub them, etc. I used to think this was restless leg syndrome, but I think now that it's just what little kids get when they're really tired. In other words, I'm four.

16. I seriously suck at writing essays.

17. I slacked off for the first 60 or so college credits, meaning I spend half of my semesters retaking classes.

18. If there is something good on, I could watch T.V. for many, many, many hours.

19. I've given up on lots of things. To name a few: piano, viola, being an English major, Making my own longboard, before-mentioned-exercise rountine, being a good visting teacher.

20. I don't know how to iron.

Why my life is now in shambles.

SO.
A couple weeks ago Matt (ahem...elder titensor) wrote these words in a letter:
"I am not telling you this, but every Sunday night the guys in my district sit on the benches out in front of the MTC and watch the sunset. If you happened to drive by we're there from 8-9...cough."
You have got to be kidding me. So, tonight the best friend Wesley and I set out on our borderline rule-breaking adventure. His mom shook her head in disapproval as we drove away from his house. ha. oh well. After one unsuccessful drive by, on the way back we caught a red light, and as both of us searched the line of suits, suddenly there he WAS! Holding his arms in the air with a big grin on his face. Y'know those moments when you can stop and say "Wow, I actually just physically felt my emotions change." My heart fell out of my chest onto the dashboard. And then Wes and I screamed like little girls and waved and had tiny emotional breakdowns there in my mini. It made my entire year.
I got home and wrote him an extra good letter, since my love for him increased a thousand million percent, if that is possible..?
OH WAIT. Since then I have found out that four other girls I know also saw him tonight, and got to talk to him (and for the record I would empty my bank account to hear his voice. Ridiculously unfair is an understatement) and took pictures with him AND Sammy. I don't even know how to feel now. I desperately wish I would have talked to him, but simultaneously have a firm belief that I would just want to hug him to death and then somehow the words "come home with me" would escape my lips. And that would probably be awkward when he refused. Then, post reunion I would go through suckfest like I did at the end of May, which my heart has informed me it simply cannot survive again. Yes, I'm dramatic. But I've made my decision. Well, it was made for me, but I'm rationalizing to feel better. He's probably having a rough enough time tonight, thinking about home. But sheesh. It's more than a little overwhelming how much I miss that boy.